Horsefingers 3: Starfucker

Horsefinger3 Starfucker begins mysteriously with Wes Anderson-esque subtitles which inform us we are witnessing a meeting of the Royal Order of Majestical Homunculi. Two men in papier-mache masks deliberate over the fate of an infant, while glancing meaningfully at a poorly executed portrait entitled “our founder”, which depicts an angry redhead wielding an axe. We then cut to the same woman—Emma--sitting in a bar sporting a pig-tailed wig, a set of false hooves and the kind of heavy stage make-up last seen at the local high school play. She approaches a conventionally handsome man sitting nearby and proceeds to remind him that they have worked together on a film in the past. She fawns while he appraises her odd appearance. She retires to her seat at the bar feeling foolish, until the conventionally handsome actor appears at her side and invites her to dinner—who knew that all a girl needed was a set of hooves to score some man candy?

As she gets ready for their date, he rings her up and makes it clear he finds her fairytale attire abnormally enticing. She gamely dons her wig and hooves once more, discarding her jeans and blouse. At the restaurant, the challenge of eating or drinking while wearing hooves becomes apparent, though Emma's date is so smitten he actually begins singing the 'My Little Pony' song to her. The woman at the next table glances over in disgust as Emma's date goads her into increasingly horsey behaviour—urging her to taste meatballs and spaghetti from his hands. They return to her apartment and, aroused by her 'pony-girl' look, her date asks for a costume before they have sex. While Emma cannot accommodate his request to be “any kind of cat”, she does produce a surprisingly evocative porcupine costume for her lover. But, she soon discovers that her date, in the spirit of Angela Carter's The Company of Wolves is hairy on the inside.

This short is a delight from beginning to end. Deeply odd and amusing.